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I'm not looking forward to this class. English was my worst subject in school." "Ha, I know. It's been years since writing a college paper. I've heard this guy is a real douchebag. He never gives out A's." Oh, great. Nervously, I put my pencil in my mouth, a bad habit established in high school. I am usually a straight-A student, and I don't like to feel pressured. Jack stands up and loudly says, "Alright, kids, simmer down!" Uh, who are you to tell us to simmer down? Lame-o, you're our peer in here. This is not old man business 101. "My name is Professor Jack Lasion. I like to pretend I'm one of you every semester to get a feel for how this class will be." Oh fuck, I just told the professor I wasn't looking forward to his class. "For those of you who were late, I'm not going to make this easy for you. Prepare to be on time because the real world is not going to wait for you." He looks at me as I blush. Here we go with the syllabi review… 3 exams? Great, just great. One of them is on. What’s that smell? Oh yes and I’ll make your litter box is cleaned. Listen when I stroke her under her chin she purrs. Now we go to rather large animal. One of my favorite zoo animals was the monkeys. I always thrilled to their antics. Well here you the Queen of the Jungle. I call her Bushwoman. I was able to encourage her body hair cover most of her body. She looks rather contented with that banana in her hand. You see Bushwoman used to a professional wrestler. Now all she wrestles with is a banana and my patience. No, no you naughty monkey that banana is supposed to go into you mouth not down there. No wonder she never won much at wrestling. Never too bright. Look out I have angered her she is standing up and beating her chest in anger. You forget Bushwoman these bars are made of steel you can’t hurt me. Oops, not again luckily I moved just in time, you see she tried to get me by pissing on my shoes again. I lost two pairs that way last month. Moving.
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